The first night
I'm not sure how to start this, but I've followed the rat, as any sensible person would, and decided to go with it.
I've been on the net since 1999. Committed, at first, to my beloved P & A chatroom. Then, to the board. And, I know it's schlep (at least to me, it is), but (and, here it comes....) but, after 9/11, it seemed like the umph of the board blew out like a silent fart in geometry class. I hung on for awhile, but got lost into my then pressing reality. I came back a couple of years ago to find most of the core group still intact, yet...the umph still missing. What was left was comaradarie and common interest. Mind you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I am still there and probably always will be...it is like a second home, but the punching individuality and ravings seem to have found a new place to sizzle (or fall flat) in blogs.
____________________________________________________________________
Now for the personal shit...
In my everday life it seems that only married men speak to me. Yeah, I'm single, divorced, whatthefuckever and I'm kosher with it for the most part, but I'm still just a regular human being who wouldn't mind some decent companionship (lol-tell me this is coming off as a webdating shtick-post...come on...really... :-) Anyway...
Alright, so I'm lonely. And, since I am to the point that I would actually talk about it to my friends, I've ended up with a lot of questions and undesirable answers.
One question posed, "Why do only married men speak to me?"
Question answered by friend of 19 years and current co-worker, "...because whether you believe it or not, you are stunning to look at and besides that, guys can tell that you know who you are and know what you like and they think it's not worth the effort." So then, I'm screwed ? Love her heart. I had asked my question with a sort of preamble: "as my friend of 19 years, I want an honest answer and I want you to think about it for awhile before you respond." So the 'stunning' part, though kind, wasn't swallowed whole. However, she was on target as far as my personality goes. So back to being screwed. I have responsibilities and not a lot of time to devote to a quest for companionship. Not doing the dating online shit. rip off and still too much of my time. Bars ? Cackle. Snort. Guffaw. Get real. Men at work ? Sure if I was into the habit of dating married men. Lucky for me that was only a one shot deal.
Okay, I get it. I'm bitching and whining and if I hit the damn semi-colon key one more f**cking time when I want a comma...argh !
I have yet to receive the thoughtful answer. I suppose I should ask. I'm thinking my ego likes the off the cuff one anyhow.
And to top it all off, I'm to be a bridesmaid again this Saturday. Yes, let's compound my loneliness. At least the dress is pretty and the friend who's getting married isn't sticking me into an ugly dress way too big for me to try to make me look bad. That's a rant there. If you're interested, ask me to get back to it and I'll oblige.
Have to go settle into bed now.
I've been on the net since 1999. Committed, at first, to my beloved P & A chatroom. Then, to the board. And, I know it's schlep (at least to me, it is), but (and, here it comes....) but, after 9/11, it seemed like the umph of the board blew out like a silent fart in geometry class. I hung on for awhile, but got lost into my then pressing reality. I came back a couple of years ago to find most of the core group still intact, yet...the umph still missing. What was left was comaradarie and common interest. Mind you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I am still there and probably always will be...it is like a second home, but the punching individuality and ravings seem to have found a new place to sizzle (or fall flat) in blogs.
____________________________________________________________________
Now for the personal shit...
In my everday life it seems that only married men speak to me. Yeah, I'm single, divorced, whatthefuckever and I'm kosher with it for the most part, but I'm still just a regular human being who wouldn't mind some decent companionship (lol-tell me this is coming off as a webdating shtick-post...come on...really... :-) Anyway...
Alright, so I'm lonely. And, since I am to the point that I would actually talk about it to my friends, I've ended up with a lot of questions and undesirable answers.
One question posed, "Why do only married men speak to me?"
Question answered by friend of 19 years and current co-worker, "...because whether you believe it or not, you are stunning to look at and besides that, guys can tell that you know who you are and know what you like and they think it's not worth the effort." So then, I'm screwed ? Love her heart. I had asked my question with a sort of preamble: "as my friend of 19 years, I want an honest answer and I want you to think about it for awhile before you respond." So the 'stunning' part, though kind, wasn't swallowed whole. However, she was on target as far as my personality goes. So back to being screwed. I have responsibilities and not a lot of time to devote to a quest for companionship. Not doing the dating online shit. rip off and still too much of my time. Bars ? Cackle. Snort. Guffaw. Get real. Men at work ? Sure if I was into the habit of dating married men. Lucky for me that was only a one shot deal.
Okay, I get it. I'm bitching and whining and if I hit the damn semi-colon key one more f**cking time when I want a comma...argh !
I have yet to receive the thoughtful answer. I suppose I should ask. I'm thinking my ego likes the off the cuff one anyhow.
And to top it all off, I'm to be a bridesmaid again this Saturday. Yes, let's compound my loneliness. At least the dress is pretty and the friend who's getting married isn't sticking me into an ugly dress way too big for me to try to make me look bad. That's a rant there. If you're interested, ask me to get back to it and I'll oblige.
Have to go settle into bed now.
posted by Morgue | 7/19/2005 12:44:00 AM
4 Comments:
Hi Morgue...
I'm just wandering around blogdom, posting comments during my break.
Seriously, though - I can relate to what you're saying (...about married men.) Although I'm incapable of being attracted to married men - it's interesting to have conversations with them. I like getting their views on relationships.
Yeah...that was me. I've been too busy blogging during my off hours this week and forgot that my blogs are still private status. :)
You followed me into blogland??
Heh, how nice of you to say so.
cham: what differences do you see in your questions to married or not ?
rat: i did. i did. :-)
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